Child Custody Issues: Tips For Being Civil With Your Ex after Divorce

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Apr 05, 2012 -
If you're a parent, your divorce will have an impact on your child. Even if your divorce is a reasonably friendly one, there will be many changes happening in the family and home, particularly changes that come with Virginia child custody decisions. While life after divorce isn't always easy, you're not helpless to control the outcome.

Most parents feel anxious and guilty about the possible effects of their divorce on their children, and will do whatever it takes to help their kids adjust to this difficult time. One of the best steps you can take to minimize the negative effects of divorce on your kids is to try and remain civil with their father. While you and you ex-husband might have your issues, it's best to try and cooperate with him so that you can effectively parent your children together.

Life after Divorce: Tips For Managing Your Relationship With Your Ex

The following tips may help you better manage your relationship with your ex-husband.

•   As a parent getting back on track after divorce, watching your words will be one of your top priorities. Divorce can be an emotionally rocky experience that can bring out some highly charged feelings. It can sometimes be difficult not to rip into your ex or vent about him to your friends. The trick is to not do either of these things in front of your kids.

•   Your children need to feel valued and loved by both parents. They also need to know that it's OK for them to love both parents. Because of that, a parent shouldn't show jealousy or try to turn their kids against the other parent. This can sabotage your Virginia child custody plan as well as your relationships with your children.

•   It's also wise to limit the amount of information you give your children about the divorce. Even older kids are still kids, and it isn't fair to burden them with details of you and your ex's trials.

•   Focusing on the positive can be a vital part of helping your family get through divorce and adjusting to Virginia child custody arrangements. Everyone has positive attributes so try to focus attention on the things that make each family member special and unique.

•   It's best to form an amicable relationship with your ex as soon as possible. While the emotional healing following the divorce won't likely be immediate, your effort to be civil should. This will help you and your kids avoid the drama and stress of arguments, anxiety and division in the family.

•   While you should do what you can to be a good co-parent after divorce, you should remember to take good care of yourself and your own emotional needs as well. Your ex might not always be cooperative with you despite your efforts to reach out to him. When this happens, it's his mistake and not yours. Don't stress out over what you can't change.

Try and keep the wellbeing of your children in mind. Remember your goals and hopes for your kids and let those aspirations guide you to make the right decisions. If necessary, seek family counseling to help you, your children and your ex (if he chooses to participate)

adjust to the new living arrangements and move on to a full life after divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children’s future. Our women’s-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Find us at: http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/reports/what-ever ... and http://www.monthlydivorceseminars.com/

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The attorneys of Hofheimer/Ferrebee P. C., have met with, counseled and successfully represented thousands of women in their divorces.